Charles wants to keep his 13-year-old daughter Lexi happy even if it means taking care of a manipulative, potty mouthed unicorn that continually insults his hospitality, intelligence and manhood. But when it comes to food they have a problem, and Charles finds himself hunting down one of the world's most expensive ingredients in a crime-ridden neighborhood known for its grisly dealings with outsiders.
Along the way he meets a long lost high school friend with a fast-food job and unusual knowledge of high-end cuisine; a voodoo wielding faith healer and his side-arm carrying bodyguard, a nearsighted stripper with a taste for knives, and her jealous boyfriend who confronts Charles for stealing his girl. Only one of them will walk away.
(This story is not for children.)
Christian Knoebel worked for The Wall Street Journal and The New York Times as a senior editor, executive producer, editorial page contributor and online manager of New York news and culture. He lives in New Jersey with his wife and kids.